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Counselling

Abusive Relationships

Specialist, trauma-informed support. Confidential.

Couples counselling is not recommended where there is abuse. Being asked to be honest in front of someone who may punish you for it afterwards is not safe, and it is not therapy.

If you are in danger right now, call 999. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247, free and open 24 hours. The Men's Advice Line, for men experiencing abuse, is 0808 801 0327, weekdays. Galop supports LGBT+ people on 0800 999 5428, weekdays.

Why we will not book you joint sessions

Relationship counselling assumes two people who can both speak freely and are equally safe to do so. Where one person is being controlled, frightened or hurt, that assumption is false. Sessions can be used as evidence of disloyalty afterwards, and the risk of harm rises around the times an abusive partner senses they are losing control.

This is the settled position of the counselling professions, and it is why the platform states it rather than quietly taking the booking.

What does help

Individual, trauma-informed counselling with a practitioner who works with domestic abuse. Sessions belong to you: what you say is not reported to your partner, and you are not required to have made any decision about leaving. Many people come while they are still deciding, and many stay for a long time before anything changes. That is common, and it is not a failure.

Abuse is not only physical

Controlling where you go and who you see, monitoring your phone, controlling money, threats, and constant criticism that leaves you doubting your own memory are all abuse. Coercive control is a criminal offence in England and Wales.

Covering your tracks

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